Me and my Anxiety

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I’ve always had anxiety. It’s very rare that it’s debilitating, and I’ve learned how to manage it (for the most part) over the years. …So I’ve been through a few things in the past year. Cancer, my job of 19 years ended, and another job that no matter how I tried, I couldn’t do anything right. The experience from the latter job left me doubting everything I knew, feeling incompetent (even with 19 years experience) and left me convinced I would be unable to work in any field ever. (I’m pretty sure I was being gaslighted) And no matter how much others tell me I’m completely competent to do things, I still have no confidence of my ability. …Now I’ve landed a new job in a different field. I’m excited, but terrified. I went to an orientation that wasn’t that involved (so I get to feel untrained and even more terrified). I keep telling myself that if they hired me just on my resume/application, then they must feel I’m qualified to do the job. They don’t know me from Adam, so it must know all they need to know from those documents. I’m looking forward to my first day, but I’ll be lucky if I don’t have a panic attack. I’ll be having hot flashes and thinking I look like a fool. Am I going to screw everything up somehow? Those who know me and are working in a similar field tell me I’ll do great. But will I? I feel this is a job where I can grow as a person, and make a difference. I really hope I do okay. Keep your fingers crossed for me, internet.